Warrior's Resolve
by daydreamsonacloudyday
Summary: Various oneshots/drabbles about my Inquisitor, Madelyn Trevelyan, and Cullen.
1. Accidents Happen

**Accidents Happen**

This is based on a wonderful little headcanon I thought of a while ago, that I just had to write. It takes place shortly after Madelyn and the Inquisition return from the Western Approach (after Adamant), not too long before Madelyn and Cullen get together.

* * *

She didn't mean to smash Cullen right in the face, it just… _happened_.

Madelyn had trained with a sword and shield for almost her entire life. After so long, a simple shield bash was instinctual, an _impulse_. She'd done it a million times before, and never once flinched or hesitated.

But now she could only stare in horror at what she'd done.

She didn't realize exactly what happened until she heard Cullen grunt when her shield connected with his face. By then it was too late, the force of her blow snapping his head back, his body following as he stumbled into the fenced edge of the sparring ring. Silence fell over the spectators that had been watching them spar, and Madelyn felt her stomach drop, her heart skipping a beat.

Placing her shield and practice sword on the ground, she cautiously stepped towards Cullen, reaching for him as he steadied himself. At the last moment she pulled her hands back towards her body, frowning.

"Are you all right?" she asked. Cullen grunted again, covering his nose with his hand in an attempt to staunch the blood dripping from his face. An even larger crowd began to form around the sparring ring, whispers starting to spread amongst the spectators. Madelyn ignored them, too focused on assessing Cullen's injury. "Let me see."

"I'm fine," he muttered, waving her away.

"You're not fine, you're bleeding," she shot back. "Now let me see." With a huff, he lowered his hand from his face, revealing the source of the blood flow. Her shield bash had completely crushed his nose, leaving it crooked and cut open.

 _Maker_ , she'd ruined his perfectly good and handsome nose.

Her heart thumped faster in her chest, and she furrowed her brow—she couldn't let her thoughts wander to such places when he was injured. "It's probably broken," she stated, examining his nose more closely, then calling out to the crowd around them. "Someone get us a healer!"

"I don't need a healer," Cullen protested. "A healing potion will do."

She amended her orders, and in an instant three men scurried away in search of a healing potion. Turning her attention back to the man before her, she narrowed her eyes, pursing her lips.

"If the potion doesn't work, you're going to the infirmary," Madelyn stated firmly.

Cullen let out a breathy laugh. "If you say so, Inquisitor."

He stared at her, his warm brown eyes unwavering from hers. She couldn't help but return his gaze, until she realized just what she was doing. She tore her eyes from his, feeling a tinge of warmth in her cheeks, and quickly glanced over the rest of him to make sure he wasn't injured elsewhere. She assessed the state of his face again, and that's when she noticed it… he was _smiling_.

"Commander… are you… are you _smiling_?" she asked incredulously, wondering how anyone could smile in such a situation.

He stared at her a moment longer before he drew his brows together, as if he didn't even hear her. "What?" he asked, blood dripping onto his shirt. Cullen quickly brought his hand to his face again, attempting to stop the bleeding. He opened and closed his mouth, struggling for the right words. "I was… uh, smiling, that is. That was a very nice hit."

Madelyn huffed, her lips curling into a smile. She'd broken his nose and he was _complimenting_ her. "Thank you."

"Inquisitor!"

Both she and Cullen turned towards the voice, one of the men having brought back a healing potion. Grimacing, Cullen drank the potion, then passing the empty vial back to the soldier that had brought it.

"Let me see it now," Madelyn murmured, leaning closer to him to inspect his nose. He obeyed, holding his head steady as she examined him.

"I think it's better. I can't tell for sure with all the blood, but a healer would be able to confirm it."

Cullen understood the meaning behind her words, and this time he didn't protest the necessity of a healer. Madelyn told the remaining spectators to get back to work before she and Cullen made the short journey to the infirmary.

The healer on duty was busy with another patient, so they sat on an empty cot as they waited. The silence between them was welcomed and comfortable, and yet… there was something _else_ lingering there. Something had been growing between them for some time, but ever since Cullen had expressed just how worried he had been when she disappeared into the Fade at Adamant, it had grown ever more present. It wasn't hard to disregard her feelings during normal day-to-day activities, but when they were alone, they were always on the back of her mind. Even in that moment, she was hyperaware of his presence. He was staring at her again, she could _feel_ it, but she didn't dare meet his gaze, her heart thumping away in her chest. She swallowed hard, finally mustering up the courage to face him, and the moment he caught her looking back, his eyes fell to the floor.

More silence passed between them, and then Cullen suddenly sat up straighter on the cot, pulling his bloodstained shirt over his head in one swift motion. Madelyn's stomach flipped at the sight of him shirtless, her eyes sweeping over every muscle, scar, and strand of dark blond hair until her attention was finally drawn back to his shirt. Balling it up in his hand, he began to blindly wipe at the dried blood on his face.

Madelyn placed her hand over his, his motions stilling at her touch. "Let me," she breathed, and he dropped the shirt from his face, nodding as his gaze burned into hers. She stood up and grabbed a small basin of water and a clean cloth, then returning to her seat at his side.

Starting with his nose, she gently ran the wet cloth over the contours of his face in long, slow strokes, rinsing the cloth as needed. Cullen watched her as she worked, but she remained focused on her task, pretending not to feel the warmth blooming in her chest at the way he relaxed under her care. Eventually his eyes fluttered closed, his shoulders and posture slumping as he leaned the slightest bit closer, offering her his neck so she could get to the dried blood that had dripped there and on the top of his chest.

Little by little she washed it all away, until the only part of him that was still stained with blood was his lips. Madelyn had purposefully avoided them, the simple act of wiping his mouth seeming too intimate despite the layer of cloth between her fingertips and his lips. The fact that she _wanted_ to experience that intimacy was what made her avoid his lips. But, she couldn't just leave them bloody, so she rinsed the cloth one last time and set her mind to getting them clean.

She hesitated before the cloth met his lips, long enough for Cullen to flicker open his eyes. Before she could get lost in his gaze, Madelyn quickly looked to his mouth, finally getting on with her intended task. She could feel his breath rush out of his nose as she softly slid the wet cloth over his mouth, the puff of air tickling the back of her hand. The moment she finished dragging the cloth down over Cullen's stubbled chin and off his face, he inhaled sharply, his mouth parting. Madelyn was mesmerized by those scarred lips; she could only stare as a war waged inside her head, her mind racing. Her hand hovered near his face, and before she could pull it back Cullen's own hand came up to hers, the back of his fingers lightly brushing over her skin before he cupped her hand with his, gooseflesh raising over her arm.

"Madelyn," he whispered, and she met his eyes, just in time for her to see his drop down to her lips. She gulped, her chest constricting as her pulse quickened, her gaze drifting back down to his mouth once again.

It was happening again. When Cullen confessed how worried he was at Adamant, they had ended up in a similar position, but they had both stopped things before they did something they couldn't take back. But Madelyn didn't know if she—or he—could do that again. Maker help her, she didn't _want_ to do it again.

Before either of them could move any closer, the healer called out to them, ready to examine Cullen's nose. Jerking their hands apart, both warriors sat up straight, sharing a quick, nervous glance before Cullen stood and stepped over to the healer. Madelyn closed her eyes, letting out a breath she didn't even know she was holding.

She composed herself and joined Cullen and the healer, who issued him a clean bill of health. After a brief, awkward silence, they parted ways, both heading off to get back to work.

Later that night, Madelyn found herself walking the battlements with Cullen, after they both had some time to put their close encounter behind them.

"How is your nose?"

"It's fine," he answered with a smile. "Like it never even happened."

"I'm sorry for hitting you so hard," she said, offering him an apologetic look.

"You can hit me anytime you want," he replied, his eyes going wide when he realized what he said, and Madelyn quirked an eyebrow at him. Rubbing the back of his neck, Cullen briefly looked away from her, a tinge of a blush on his cheeks. "I mean… there's no need to apologize. We were sparring…" She slowly nodded her head, beginning to understand what he was trying to say. "You wouldn't apologize on a battlefield," he finally said with a huff.

"No, I wouldn't. I would hit my enemy again… harder," she stated, matter-of-factly.

He released a deep breath and then a light chuckle. "So would I."

Madelyn smiled to herself, before she grew serious again, her gaze boring into his. "But… we weren't on a battlefield, we were sparring. I shouldn't have exercised such a lack of control. I should have been more careful. I…" She sighed. "I'm sorry."

"You're not going to stop apologizing, are you?" he asked after a moment, amused.

"Probably not." A small smile broke through her hard expression. "So you had better accept my apology," she ordered, her voice light.

"Apology accepted, Inquisitor," he replied with a laugh. They continued to walk, silence settling between them until Cullen cleared his throat. "Are we still on for sparring tomorrow?"

"Of course," Madelyn answered, unable to hide a grin. "But maybe we should wear a bit more protection… or not use our shields."

Cullen nodded, a smile matching her own spread across his lips. "Agreed."


	2. The Start of Something New

**The Start of Something New**

This is my take on the first kiss/initiate the romance scene with Cullen, though I changed a few things around to better suit him and Madelyn specifically. It's also worth noting that Madelyn doesn't have the best track record when it comes to relationships. This is also the first thing I've written about them, which is exciting and scary at the same time!

* * *

Madelyn drew her brows together, her lips pursed as she walked towards Cullen's office. Upon reaching the door, she stopped, staring at the wood as she released a shaky breath. Her armor suddenly felt too tight, the layers of leather and metal heavy on her shoulders, as if it were strangling her. She frowned, irritated that her nerves were getting the better of her.

It had been years since she had such _feelings_ for another person. Despite herself, she was so distracted by thoughts of the Commander that she could barely think straight. She knew she needed to address what was blooming between them before it was too late—her duty as Inquisitor had to remain her top priority.

Maybe in another time or place they would have a chance, but— _no_. Madelyn couldn't afford to ponder _maybe's_ and _what if's_. She needed to end things between them before they began. It would be better for everyone that way.

Maker, she was truly cursed with the worst luck when it came to men.

Knocking as she opened the door, she finally entered Cullen's office, her eyes quickly glancing over the room until they landed on him. He stood at his desk, hunched over his seemingly never-ending paperwork. He lifted his gaze from his work and quickly stood up straight when he saw who his visitor was.

"Inquisitor," he greeted with a smile.

"Commander."

"Was there something you needed?"

"I thought we could talk," she started, then glancing towards the other doors into his office, waiting for the inevitable arrival of one of his men. "Alone."

"Alone?" he repeated, brows momentarily furrowing before they shot up towards his hairline. "I mean, of course." He gestured towards the door, and she followed him out onto the battlements.

It would have been like every other walk they had taken in the past if it weren't for the way Madelyn's stomach churned with every step. Cullen patiently waited while she struggled for the right words, until he realized that the lack of her usual directness meant something was wrong.

"It's a nice day," Cullen said, clearing his throat as he rubbed the back of his neck.

"I'm sorry, what?" Madelyn asked, so lost in thought she barely heard him.

"It's… there was something you wish to discuss."

"Right," she muttered, stopping as she stared out at the mountains surrounding Skyhold. Breathing deeply, she turned her attention back to the man beside her. "We need to discuss this, _us_ …" Cullen opened his mouth to speak, but instead sighed, settling for a simple nod of agreement. "I value our friendship, Cullen. It's so important to me, and I don't want to ruin what we already have by saying this, but… it's becoming more and we… we can't _be_ more than friends." Madelyn swallowed hard, a knot forming in her throat at the flash of hurt she caught in his eyes before his gaze dropped from hers.

"You're the commander of my armies," she continued, desperate to explain herself. She was positive he had already considered the circumstances that kept them apart, but now that she started speaking, she couldn't stop. "A relationship between two people who work together, especially when one is of higher rank than the other… it's inappropriate and it would never work out. And even if that wasn't a factor… in the end, we may not both survive this. The world is falling apart, and it's my duty to fix it, even if it costs me my life."

Meeting her gaze again, Cullen stared at her, his lips pressed into a thin line, shifting on his feet as he released a deep breath.

"But," Madelyn added, her eyes searching his face, "no matter how many times I tell myself we could never have anything, I still find myself thinking of you… more than… well, all the time, really." Her confession brought warmth to his gaze, the tiniest of smiles tugging at the corner of his lips. She huffed, heat blooming in her cheeks at how _much_ she had admitted to him.

"I can't say I haven't wondered what it would be like," Cullen began, but then his face fell. Madelyn's heart swelled at his words before it clenched in her chest—she could see him burying those thoughts away. "But you're right," he continued, "You're the Inquisitor. We're at war. And you… I didn't think it was possible for you to…"

Breathing in sharply, Madelyn's eyes widened. "You didn't… Oh, Cullen…" Her fingers twitched at her side as she resisted the urge to touch him, to cup his cheek with her hand and brush her fingertips over his stubbled jaw. "Of course it was— _is_ —possible," she whispered. "I just wish… if things were different…"

Cullen smiled wistfully. "If only."

His gaze dropped to her lips, and it was only then that she realized just how close he was to her. She didn't remember him being that close before, so close that there was barely any space between them. She couldn't concentrate, not when his mouth parted, his tongue darting out to quickly wet his lips. Unconsciously, she mirrored his actions, licking her own parted lips as her gaze flicked to his mouth. He was leaning in—or she was, she was unsure—his eyes closing as he got closer, hers fluttering closed a moment later. Seconds that felt like hours later, she felt it, his breath ghosting over her lips, sending a shiver down her spine.

"Commander!"

Madelyn's eyes immediately shot open at the intrusion, to find Cullen staring back at her, his lips barely an inch from hers. Blinking rapidly, she stepped back against the edge of the battlements and pressed her hands against the solid stone to steady herself. The soldier that interrupted them was still talking, completely oblivious to what he had walked in on, and Cullen whirled around to face him.

" _What?_ " he growled, drawing the soldier's attention from the papers he had in his hand.

"Sister Leliana's report. You wanted it delivered 'without delay,'" the man clarified. He stared at Cullen before glancing towards her, and she felt herself blush as she looked away. She waited a moment before peeking at him, only to find his eyes had grown wide while he stared at Cullen again. "Or… to your office… right," he mumbled, quickly backing away until he turned and scurried off.

Sighing, Madelyn's shoulders slumped, her eyes finding Cullen's as he turned to face her again. He stepped towards her, but she placed her hand on his breastplate to stop him from getting too close.

"The Inquisition needs you, Commander," she said firmly, trying to keep her voice from wavering. "I should let you get back to work."

She turned and pulled away from him, but barely took a step before he caught her hand and tugged her back to face him. Without hesitation, Cullen closed the distance between them, his hand gently grabbing the back of her neck as he silenced her surprised gasp with his lips.

For a moment, all Madelyn could do was stand still as he pressed his mouth to hers, her thoughts racing. The sensation of his warm lips moving over hers coaxed her out of her shocked state, and she found herself returning his kiss. It was tentative—their lips molding together, their breath mingling as they tasted each other for the first time. Cullen's other hand came up to cup her cheek, and Madelyn grasped at his arms to steady herself as the kiss deepened, his tongue brushing over her bottom lip before she allowed it entry, his tongue dancing with hers in a way that left her absolutely breathless.

When they finally parted for air, neither of them moved away, their foreheads resting against one another's as they caught their breath. Cullen pulled back, his eyes darting to the side before he met her gaze, smiling bashfully.

"I'm sorry… that was… um… really nice."

A breathy laugh slipped from Madelyn's throat, and she nodded, smiling back. "It was."

After one more shy glance, they were kissing again, all reservations forgotten as they held each other as close as their armor allowed. The metal clinked and scraped together, and when they broke apart they were laughing at the racket they caused.

"You should really get back to work now," Madelyn said, when their laughter died down. "I have things to do as well."

Cullen nodded, unable to stop smiling. "You're right." He lightly brushed his fingers over the scar on her cheek before stepping back. "We'll speak later?"

"Yes."

…

They didn't see each other until the following morning, when Madelyn met with Cullen and her other advisors at the war table. She had spent nearly every moment since their kiss on the battlements thinking about the way Cullen's lips felt pressed against hers, the way her entire body shivered in delight as he held her close, the way he drew the breath right out of her lungs… But the more she thought about it, the more her initial worries crept back into her mind, constantly nagging at her until she was just as conflicted as she was before she had gone to speak with him—if not more.

The moment she walked into the war room and saw Cullen, she knew she wasn't alone in her troublesome thoughts. Once the meeting was over, she and Cullen remained behind in a tense silence when the others left.

"When I came to you yesterday, I didn't expect things to turn out the way they did," Madelyn stated, pulling her eyes away from the markers on the war table to look at Cullen. Maker help her, she wanted to kiss him again, and it was all she could do to keep her gaze from dropping to his lips. "I was fully prepared to end things between us before they truly began, but now…" she huffed, shaking her head. "It sounds ridiculous, and childish, even, but after experiencing that one moment with you, I want so much to just forget about everything that could go wrong if we did this."

Cullen moved closer to her, resting his hand on the hilt of his sword. Taking a deep breath, he briefly closed his eyes before focusing on her again. "It seems too much to ask. But I want to… I want this, _you_."

"So you don't regret the kiss, then?" she asked, a shaky breath escaping her lips.

"No! No. Not at all." He paused a moment, unsure. "Do you?"

"No."

They stared at each other, another long silence settling between them.

Finally, Cullen cleared his throat. "I think… we should give it a shot," he said quietly, and Madelyn snapped her eyes to his, barely daring to believe it.

"Things could get complicated."

"I know. But, I'm willing to try… if you are."

She pursed her lips as her mind raced. Would she truly deny herself this? For all she knew, it would work. She wasn't a young, naïve girl anymore, it could be different this time… she prayed it would be different this time.

"I… yes, I'm willing to try. Maker help me, but I want this."

"Good," Cullen breathed with relief, smiling at her. He reached out to pull her close and brushed a stray curl behind her ear. His fingers lightly traced over the scar on the edge of her jaw, the leather of his gloves soft on her skin. "May I kiss you again?"

Madelyn laughed, her lips curling into a smile to match his own. "Absolutely."


	3. Rest and Recovery

**Rest and Recovery**

This takes place some time after Corypheus has been defeated, after Cullen has permanently moved into Madelyn's room.

* * *

Madelyn climbed the stairs into her room, more reports and paperwork for her and Cullen to go through cradled in her arms.

"Cullen, I—"

She immediately shut her mouth as she reached the top of the staircase, catching a glimpse of him at her desk. He was fast asleep, his head lolled to the side with mouth hanging open, and his arm was dangling at his side over the arm of the chair.

Smiling at the sight, she quietly approached him, glad she wasn't wearing her armor–it would have surely woken him up, depriving him of the rest he so clearly needed. They had both been very busy the past few days, and Cullen had been plagued by nightmares the night before, which cut into the little time they did have to sleep.

When she reached the desk, she gathered the paperwork spread out on the surface with her free hand, staking it in a neat pile before placing the new paperwork she brought with her right beside it. Turning her attention to her sleeping lover, Madelyn watched the slow rise and fall of his chest as she brushed a stray curl back from his forehead. Cullen's breath hitched in his throat, and for a moment she thought he would wake, but his breathing evened back out to the harsh inhales and exhales she was so accustomed to.

Madelyn allowed herself to watch him sleep a little longer before she rolled her shoulders and cracked her neck, shaking out her arms before crouching beside him. Sliding one arm behind his back and the other under his legs, she lifted him up in one fluid and steady motion, and carried him the short way to their bed, being careful not to jostle him too much as she walked.

A light groan escaped Cullen's throat as she placed him down on the mattress. She pulled her hands back and he jerked awake, his eyes flying open as he quickly sat up, trying to focus on his surroundings. Immediately, Madelyn sat on the edge of the bed and placed her hand on his face, her thumb stroking his cheek in soothing circles.

"Cullen," she whispered, his eyes snapping to hers at the sound of his name on her lips, "it's just me."

"Maddie." He released a shaky breath, lifting his hand up to cover hers, leaning into her touch. He briefly shut his eyes before opening them again, his shoulders slumping as he relaxed, a small smile spreading across his face. Cullen's gaze drifted over to the desk, his lips pursed and eyes narrowed as he stared across the room, until his brows shot up and he turned his attention back to Madelyn. "Did you…?"

She nodded and he huffed, his lips curling into a grin, the corner of his eyes crinkling as his face lit up. She couldn't help but smile back.

"You should go back to sleep," she urged, leaning forward to nuzzle his face.

"But we were supposed to—"

"It's fine, my love." Madelyn lifted her other hand to the nape of his neck and began to run her fingers through the curls at the back of his head, her fingertips scraping over his scalp just the way he liked it. Cullen's eyes fluttered closed, a soft moan escaping his lips.

"Our picnic…" he mumbled, and she chuckled to herself at his stubbornness. She knew he was simply doing what he could to please her, to get them back on track with their original plan for the day. They were supposed to finish their paperwork together, and then go for a picnic in the secluded clearing near Skyhold that they'd claimed as their own little refuge. They planned it days ago, and she'd looked forward to it ever since, but Cullen getting the rest he needed was more important.

"It can wait," she finished. "I would rather see you rest now, instead of falling asleep on me later because you pushed yourself too hard."

Cullen barked a laugh, nodding as he gave in to her. Madelyn planted a kiss to his forehead before she gently urged him backwards. He lay back down on the bed and she pulled the blankets up over him, resting her hand on his chest.

"Stay with me?" he asked, his warm gaze searching her face.

"Of course."

She kicked off her boots as Cullen shifted to the other side of the bed, lifting the blankets for her. Taking them, she slid under the covers, settling in beside him after he rolled onto his side, her body pressed alongside his, her chest to his back. They shifted around until they were comfortable, Cullen's head pillowed on Madelyn's arm while her other arm wrapped around his chest, her hand right over his heart. He took the hand near his face with his own, lacing their fingers together, and placed his other hand over hers on his chest. Burying her face in his neck, Madelyn took a deep breath, inhaling his scent as she let her eyelids fall shut.

They were still then, silence settling over them as they drifted off, descending into sleep together. It wasn't the picnic she had looked forward to, but Madelyn was still as content as could be.


End file.
